Billy Porter thinks of himself as "spiritual" after becoming unsure about his belief in God following his upbringing around the church.
The ‘Pose’ star reflected on his relationship with religion despite his agnostic position upsetting his mother - who raised him in the Pentecostal Church - as he noted he does believe in "a higher power".
The 52-year-old actor told the 'Table Manners' podcast with Jessie and Lennie Ware: “I don't know. I don't know. That hurts my mother's feelings. I know it hurts her feelings. It hurts her heart so much. And I don't know. I don't know,
"I do believe in something in something, I do believe in a higher power. I don't know any more if that is simply out of habit. Because I don't know anything else.
"And I'm afraid to not believe in something. Because, like my grandmother said, ‘If you don't believe in something, you'll fall for anything. You gotta believe in something, or you'll fall for anything.' "
Billy labelled himself and his wedding five years ago to eyewear entrepreneur Adam Smith as "spiritual" instead of religious.
He explained: ”It was a was a legal ceremony. Yeah. But it wasn't religious. It was spiritual. Yeah, you know, I'm spiritual. I really do believe in spirit, I do believe in a higher calling, a higher level of consciousness. You know, I do believe that, you know, God is the word that we most know.
"I do believe that energy is inside of all of us. Personally, how we access that, how we share that is our life's work. You know, that's my life's work, is how I share that energy. You know, I try to be the change that I want to see."
The 'Cinderella' star said the church was "what I grew up with".
He added: "You know, so coming out in the church, being young, when that was happening. And then, you know, I mean, I can talk about this because I talk about it in my book, but I was molested by my stepfather."
Billy also recognized that much of who he is comes from “those teachings” however expressed disgust at hypocrisy after he experienced negative aspects of it.
He said: “The human being that I am is because of those teachings. A lot of those teachings. My problem is, so many of those people don't live by those teachings. So many of those people don't practice what they preach. I stand at the intersection of holding that community accountable. Your language is murderous, you're killing people.
"I have a Bible too. I know what it says. And you are not practising what that book says. And somebody needs to call you out for that. All of you evangelicals who stand behind that Bible and act like [President Donald] Trump is the saviour, f*** you. Somebody needs to say it.”
This article originally ran on celebretainment.com.